We need to put pain back in the past where it belongs, and we can only do that by feeling the past so that it no longer intrudes into the present. We can now live in the present unfettered by our history. The past is past.
Otherwise we can only pretend to live in the here-and-now. We are still back in the there and then. Our past rules our lives. We can fight it, deny it or suppress it but it is still omnipresent and always will be. Needs never disappear; they remain for the rest of our lives , as they should since they are biologic. Like hunger, when you starve while in the womb you may stay hungry and overeat forever
Control smothers feelings – keeps what we need to experience/reveal about ourselves at bay. Control simply postpones our true awakening and integration of our past expereinces with our present and future,.