Control tries to create order, which is the absolute opposite of authenticity, mindfulness and living in the moment. However, when we learn to connect with and understand that life is a unique flow of both challenging and positive experiences, profound shifts begin to occur in your thinking and actions and you are able to make the connection as to why your feelings of anxiety, depression or feeling disconnected from life arose. And then with time, patience and practise you can learn to come back into your life and discover all it has to share with you.
Zara Cordella ~ How To Be Mindful.
From the moment we are born we are taught to repress our true emotions. We are told to smile when we want to cry, to say sorry when we are angry with someone, to laugh when we are sad and to be silent when we want to shout. Is it any wonder we grow up not knowing what our real thoughts and feelings are and behave in ways we don’t even know why?
Basically every emotion we have ever felt has been tampered with in some way, with even the most loving of parents and societies teaching us to hold back our emotions so that we become happy, compliant children. However what this really creates is compliant children who grow up into being compliant adults who never truly question who they really or what they could really achieve with their life because we are all too scared of upsetting the people around us.
What is Mindfulness ~ Learning to Let Go
Mindfulness does not mean you try to control your happiness or ignore how you really feel about life. And it’s certainly not about pretending that nothing ever bothers you, although the consensus reality that is currently forming around mindfulness is trying to portray that to you.
Mindfulness and the real essence of how to “live a more mindful life” is actually about working out what you can and can’t let go of, what is yours, what is someone else’s and what has been bestowed upon you in terms of identity, belief and values and then being the best human being you can possibly be with the real challenges that life, love, and relationships will throw your way.
It is about accepting that sometimes life gets messy and sometimes life is raw but that by accepting you have natural and legitimate human reactions to life’s challenges you can begin to interpret your emotions in a way that allows you to navigate your way through your experiences with more clarity, truth and integrity.
“The problem of life is that we now think happiness lies in being safe and controlling what goes on around us. So we crave security when what we really need is freedom, control as opposed to letting go and rigidness and holding in our true expression over vulnerability and fear as been seen as weak. It’s all a bit messed up really because if we all just said look this is my life, it’s not particularly how I wanted it to be but I’m trying to figure something out here – then actually what we would have is more honesty, more truth and more people working towards a better way of living and being.”
The Art of Meditation And How It Can Change Your Life.
The Tibetan word for meditation is “Gom” which simply means “to become familiar with one’s Self”
Yet what we are seeing more and more of as meditation and mindfulness becomes mainstream are forms of meditation that are teaching us to move away from ourself and to ignore, avoid and discount the very valuable and incredible teachings our emotions, feelings and experiences can share with us.
In the mindfulness and meditation that I share this is the absolute opposite of what we are trying to achieve. Because real meditation and real mindfulness is about being “fully present” with “whatever truth is occurring within you and around you”, as only then can you get to the root of who you really are and why you feel the way you do so that you can then let the alchemy of transformation commence.
About Zara Cordella
Zara has been practising and developing a unique form of mindfulness therapy for over twenty years and is a pioneer in her understanding of how mindfulness and meditation can connect us to a deeper understanding and transformation of our-self, our relationships and the world around us.
Through her workshops delivered in the North East of England and her private 1-2-1 practice in Whitley Bay, Newcastle upon Tyne Zara now works with hundreds of individuals, groups, businesses and schools to achieve a more positive experience of how mindfulness can transform our personal and collective experiences of life, work and relationships.
Appointments are currently available one to one with Zara in her practice at Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wear and can be booked by clicking here.
Or alternatively you can book a workshop or course on mindfulness and meditation by clicking here.